As I mentioned, I take opioids. They keep me functional, and sane… Golly, haven’t I said that before as well? Doctor Dumb Shit, as I call him, (my pain doc), decided to try me on a new maintenance med. Now, I take three maintenance meds and four breakthrough pain meds… Well, he substituted one med for another and said we’d change back if I was not satisfied. Well, I ain’t. I want my old med back. I have notified him and he says when I am due for another prescription on the 19th, he will give me my old med back! Thank God for small mercies. So, I have been trying to get through the interval in a variety of ways… My other meds just can’t keep up and I’m in severe pain.
I thought about crushing the beads in the time-release medication, to release the med all at once. I know that when I have been in the hospital and received this med by injection, it works! So, it’s got to be this particular time-release formulation. But, you see, ignorance is never bliss. I am a paramedic, and as a good paramedic, I know that releasing the time-release action would thereby put all the med in my system at once. Not a bad thing with a small dose, but my doses are *not* small… Anything but small. So, I resist the temptation!
I started counting down on the 1st. I’ve gotten myself through the first and now the second, and a good bit through the 3rd, and I feel good about it… It’s certainly not easy, being in severe pain and not having the right medications to take for it, but, as one of my partners tell me, “Dodge, you survived a car accident at 16, and a fire that should have killed you. It will be tough, you will feel like dying, but you can and will survive.”
I know he’s right. I know that, and that’s what keeps me going.
Thanks Jeff for keeping it real! You’re a good man.
Blogging and playing music helps, too. So does spending money. 
It’s 107 here today… Supposed to be this hot all week… Bad for the pain…
Well, I’ll close for now… I’ll close and continue to count down the days…
Sixteen days…
Tags: Medications, Opioids, Pain
